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Guest Blogger Series: #3 Genes, Environment, & Melanoma (GEM)

8/21/2017

To give more of a window into Bob and the influence he had on people's lives, I'm inviting a series of guest bloggers from different fields to share their experiences. -Ann Millikan

Bob Millikan was an important member of the Genes, Environment, and Melanoma (GEM) group, an international group of researchers studying the genetic and environmental risk factors for melanoma. He was the principal investigator for the North Carolina Melanoma Study, which entered patients from North Carolina into the larger GEM study. Bob was known as a superb collaborator with an eye toward the greater good. He frequently shared his methodologic expertise and had a strong ability to critique and improve analyses. The GEM group knew Bob in his work role but also on a personal level. We spent time traveling with him to meetings, loved spending recreational time with him, and would like to share some of our pictures of Bob that we treasure.

Denmark: "When Bob visited us in Denmark in 2009, he was very engaged in the Vikings, their ships and way of living and he joked about applying for a "viking citizenship". Had he grown a beard he would have been the prototype of a Viking. An entrepreneur, clever, persistent, strong, handsome - although much, much more gentle and caring.” Elisabeth Thieden, Denmark

Ireland: “Bob spent the 2005-2006 academic year at University College Dublin (Ireland) as a Fulbright Scholar. We visited Bob in Ireland, a place that he loved and felt at home, and got a chance to see this beautiful country.” Nancy Thomas, North Carolina

New Mexico (with Marianne): “Clearly Bob was intrigued by the Native American culture in New Mexico and enjoyed our foray to a Native American cliff dwelling where early Americans lived.”

“Bob had a great love of the outdoors and a fun sense of humor. At the Native American cliff dwelling after climbing a scary ladder up a rock wall, he signaled “peace” to all.”

“Bob is on his way up the canyon at Tent Rocks, along with the rest of the GEM group, to the strange and wonderful “hoodoos” at Tent Rocks in New Mexico.” Marianne Berwick, New Mexico

British Columbia: “Bob had many interests and obligations to keep him in North Carolina, but Whistler was difficult to turn down, so here he is with the GEM team after a hard morning of skiing and an interesting GEM meeting.” Richard Gallagher, British Columbia

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Guest Blogger Series: #2 Anne Claire Broughton

7/24/2017

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To give more of a window into Bob and the influence he had on people's lives, I'm inviting a series of guest bloggers from different fields to share their experiences. Thanks for supporting the Kickstarter!

L-R: Anne Claire Broughton, Jim Dietz, Kitty Stalberg.

I was in an amateur string quartet with Bob starting around 1999. We all had day jobs, but we came together on Saturday afternoons to share our love of music. Our group included Kitty Stalberg on viola, Jim Dietz on cello, Bob on first violin, and me on second violin. When the quartet first formed, I already knew Jim and Kitty but not Bob, and at first I didn’t know what to make of him. With what I later realized was his characteristic wish to be generous and not be the center of attention, Bob would always ask me if I wanted to play first violin. He would repeatedly put the first violin part on my music stand, and I would hand it back to him and ask for the second violin part. For those unfamiliar with string quartet music, the first violin part is usually much more difficult than the second violin part and must be learned and practiced prior to the rehearsal. Bob knew many of the first violin parts of the major string quartets and I did not.

But once we sorted out the fact that Bob needed to play first violin on most quartets (with the exception of popular music such as Beatles songs), we grew to be good friends. Bob and I had similar goofy senses of humor. We especially loved quoting lines from Wallace and Gromit with fake English accents (“You'll be hearing from my solicitor about this!”). One of my all-time favorite memories of Bob was when the four of us participated in the UNC chamber music workshop one week in May. We were fortunate to receive excellent coaching as a group on a Tchaikovsky quartet, which we later performed at Kitty’s church. Meanwhile, in between rehearsals Bob and I amused ourselves by pretending we were in an opera and singing our greetings to each other whenever we crossed paths. Much later, when Bob went to Ireland for a year, he entrusted me with his violin so that it would be played and cared for while he was gone.

Bob’s violin playing was wonderful. He was incredibly expressive, and always eager to grow and improve, both individually and as a group. During the course of the decade-plus that we were together, our quartet explored a lot of repertoire – some briefly and others in depth. We probably spent the most time learning and perfecting Dvorak’s String Quartet No. 12 in F major, Op. 96 (“American”). This piece was fun to play, while challenging us and giving us room to grow. Once we felt we had mastered it well enough to perform it, my friend Bonny hosted a party for us to play the quartet while she served tea and cucumber sandwiches.

Other pieces we spent time rehearsing included various Beethoven quartets, Mozart’s Dissonance and Hunt quartets, the Smetana String Quartet #1 (“From My Life”), Jean Silbelius’ String Quartet #56 (“Voces Intimae”) and Alexander Borodin’s String Quartet #2. We also had a lot of fun with Bob’s friend and neighbor Jennifer Strickland, a clarinetist, learning the wonderful Mozart and Brahms Clarinet Quintets. Our quartet only performed together in public a few times that I can recall (at the chamber music workshop, Kitty’s church, Bonny’s party, and for a friend’s wedding), but we had many satisfying living room rehearsals, followed by the wonderful ritual of the after-rehearsal snack (usually cheese, as befitting Wallace and Gromit fans).

Bob was a very kind man who loved his family and friends deeply. One Christmas he organized a special quartet rehearsal so we could share our music with his parents who were visiting. He was incredibly proud of his sister Ann and her work as a composer, and he gave us each a copy of a CD of her music when it was released. He was very sweet to my husband and small daughter, always asking about them and welcoming them into his home when we had rehearsals there. When I asked him to play violin duets with me at my church one Sunday in the summer, he readily agreed and played enthusiastically and beautifully. And when I studied the first violin part of the Borodin string quartet and finally mastered it, he was delighted to finally have the chance to put the first violin part on my stand and encourage me to play it. I miss him very much.

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Guest Blogger Series: #1 Logan Eaker

7/14/2017

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Hello all, I’d like to share just a few short stories of my time with “faculty advisor” Bob as a student rower at UNC. I look forward to reading yours about some of the other versions of Bob! Spending time with him improved the quality of my character, and I believe you all would say the same.

One of my favorite characteristics about Bob was he chose words carefully and remained soft-spoken (almost) all of the time. I don’t think he did it to make a statement, but to me it said “If you kids quiet down, you might just learn a thing or two,” and my teammates and I were happy to oblige. If Bob was talking, we knew he had something important to say. It was a perfect example for me that speaking loudly wouldn’t make anyone listen to you, most likely the opposite.

In fact, I did hear him yell just one time. After a Saturday morning practice at University Lake, he was ready to leave the boathouse and speed off to his next commitment, I think it was either swim team practice or maybe a music rehearsal. He jogged up to the small gravel parking lot that we used only to find that his car had been parked-in by careless rowers. When he arrived back down at the boathouse a few moments later, he made it very clear how he felt about us making him late! The driver was still out rowing, so several of us ran back up the path on Bob’s heels, lifted and moved the offending car out of the way, and smiled sheepishly as he drove off.

I’ve tried to integrate Bob’s manner of speaking in groups into my own bag of tricks, but it isn’t easy. I fondly recall sitting around talking to Bob with a large group of fellow rowers, he was the center of conversation. I reflected later that on several occasions during that talk, Bob made eye contact and slipped a reference (maybe just a particularly chosen word) into the conversation that he knew only he and I would appreciate, but that would go unnoticed to everyone else and not interrupt the flow. How incredible that he could keep several people engaged in conversation simultaneously, and still make each one believe that he was giving you his full attention.

Bob seemed to naturally balance his demanding professional life with time for additional mentorship, hobbies, and relaxation. There must be libraries full of books written about prioritization and time-management, but he simplified it for us one night with a simple piece of advice. It was during the week of final exams at the end of a semester and we were sitting at Tyler’s Taproom, mid-way through dinner. A teammate of mine asked Bob if he ever thought it was ok to go out and drink at a bar on the night before exams. With a straight face, Bob thoughtfully replied “Well, sometimes you have to.”

The last story that comes to mind centers around a memorable lapse in judgement. This lesson on discipline and respect was delivered in typical Bob style. He was nurturing in such a way that he could deliver harsh criticism but you’d sooner thank him than become defensive. This Saturday morning was overcast, with light rain, and we’d met at the boathouse for an early morning practice, after which the rowers would typically go for breakfast. I was out in a shell rowing lengths up and down the main leg of U Lake, with Bob motoring alongside in his coaching launch. Basic enough, our task was to focus on technique, implement the personalized tips Bob was giving, and row together, efficiently until he said otherwise. Nearing the end of the practice, we approached one end of the course, and slowed to make a U-turn and go back the other way. A perfect break in the action for us to tell a joke or two and discuss what we wanted for breakfast! Or so we thought. It was at this same time that Bob pulled up beside our boat and began to explain what he had liked about the last leg of rowing and what we should improve on for the next one. Our coxswain, realizing the blunder we were making, got us quiet just as he gave up trying to talk through our horse-play. We sat silently for several seconds as he slowly circled to the other side of our shell. Gently, he clarified “I didn’t come down here this morning to listen to the birds and watch the rain fall.” Disappointing Bob, ignoring his coaching and wasting his time, wasn’t ever something we wanted to do but after that we certainly worked hard not to repeat it. Bob enhanced our strengths, corrected our weaknesses, always gave respect, and demanded it in return.

I consider myself lucky that Bob once shared with me a few of the principles he personally maintained: “be thankful for all that God has given me, use these gifts to the best of my ability, and don't worry what other people think.”

I hope you enjoyed these stories and take his words onboard however they work best for you. If we can apply his example to our own lives, the world will be better for it.

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"Hands On!"...

7/13/2017

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... is the first command a coxswain gives. It means for the crew to put both hands on the gunwales and prepare to follow a series of orders to move the boat out of the rack, down to the dock, and into the water.

After Bob’s funeral we gathered at the boathouse on University Lake for a boat dedication by the rowing community. A four had recently been purchased by the UNC Men’s Crew and they decided to dedicate it to Bob, who had been the team’s faculty advisor for over 16 years. His name was beautifully inscribed on the bow of the boat. As they walked it out of the boathouse and laid it in the slings, I was still in shock, and would be for many months. “Dr. Robert C. Millikan” shone in bright white letters on the pristine black finish. How could that man, my brother, be gone?

About a dozen alumni that Bob had coached over the years came to pay their respects. By now I am used to hearing people talk about Bob, but at that point I wasn’t. To me he was my humble brother, someone I’d known and joked around with my whole life. I didn’t know how other people experienced him. Hearing the rowers describe how Bob had mentored them and how much he’d impacted their lives, was very moving. The same was true speaking with the long line of his Epidemiology students, colleagues and friends after the funeral service.

After they christened the boat with champagne they took it out on the water and “pulled 20 for Bob”. It was the end of the day and the fall leaves were at their brightest orange, yellow and red. As the sun lowered into the trees an almost translucent golden glow filled the air. Flowers that had been on the boat during the christening were now sitting on the dock as the four rowed by. In that moment, I knew we were sending Bob into the next world. A feeling of deep gratitude and joy came over me.

In the Kickstarter video for the upcoming MILLIKAN SYMPHONY CD I say, “I want you to be a part of it,” and I mean it in the deepest sense. It has been almost 5 years since Bob’s death. We are about to launch the CD into the world and I want to feel everyone’s “hands on” as we send it forth. There are many ways to participate. You can support the Kickstarter (for finishing funds), come to the CD Release Party on Aug. 24th (what would have been Bob’s 60th birthday), and leave a comment on the blog. I’d love to hear from you.

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Guest Blogger Series: #3 Genes, Environment, & Melanoma (GEM)

Guest Blogger Series: #2 Anne Claire Broughton

Guest Blogger Series: #1 Logan Eaker

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